Dear friends in the Search for Bianca,

Now that my email communication with Claudia Bella has run its course, a report on all the odd developments and information that emerged during our exchange is overdue. Our email thread began on November 20th and ended on November 28th.

By the middle of last month, it was clear that Claudia's email account was genuine and active and that it was the easiest way for me to reach her. So I sent her my message. I reminded her of who I was and said that new information had emerged proving that she cannot possibly be Bianca in spite of her identical appearance and personality. I included a copy of the last newsletter that all of you received so she could follow the process of how I came to that realization. Everything I sent to her appeared in both languages.

Toward the end of my letter, I mentioned that as a result of my mistake, I now had a financial problem I needed to solve. I had purchased the "claudiabella.com" Internet domain back in August, at a total cost of $1,050 US, when I was still convinced that Claudia was Bianca. I intended to give it to her as a gift with the hope of assuaging an estrangement between us that circumstances seemed to indicate. I told Claudia that I didn't have the heart to resell a domain name that really should be hers and I proposed the idea of developing a site for her. I didn't reveal much as to ideas or details, but I thought that over time a line of merchandise and/or memberships sold through the site would recover the expense of acquiring the domain.

Unlike the reply I sent to her in August, she wrote back this time... twice, in fact, before I sent my next message. As evidence of how uncomfortable Claudia is with English, nearly all the text in her messages was in Portuguese, just like the first one. Due to the extreme poor quality of Portuguese to English electronic translations, and my feelings of anticipation making it difficult to get into a Portuguese language "groove," I forwarded her two replies to my contact in Rio for translation.

In her first message, Claudia was very interested in the idea of making money with the web site. However, she said, if we went ahead with it, everything would have to be kept secret because she has this "gentleman" who is supporting her financially. My contact says that this is very common in Rio with prostitutes and many end their career this way. Claudia said that this man has also read my site, but just how much each of them comprehend is open to debate. Those of you familiar with the site know I offer instant one click translation of all its pages into Portuguese. The Portuguese that results is certainly not perfect, but it is far easier to comprehend than the "English" that results when you translate in the opposite direction.

In the second message, Claudia mentions she noticed the one picture of myself I have on the web site. She suddenly gets the notion that I am actually a former customer with whom she spent a weekend at Buzios (one of the "love motels"?) in Rio approximately four years ago. (Talk about turning the tables on me!) This customer had loved the way she danced for him (in the motel or wherever) and had even talked about the possibility getting a US visa for her, enabling her to dance up here. But then he disappeared leaving her with this illusion. This customer was apparently a nice, funny American man with a lot of money. At this point, Claudia was so convinced I was him she even sent me both of her current phone numbers and a wonderful picture of herself in a bikini top standing on a dock. (Initially, she had protested the use of her pictures on my web site.) As for my web site story and the fact that I met Bianca in Massachusetts, see actually believed at this point that it was all a ploy and that I was kidding with her.

My contact felt it would be a waste of time to reply. But I knew I couldn't let her illusion stand and there was more we had to exchange. It was imperative she realized that I am who I said I was. I told her that due to her personal situation and my financial condition, it's best I try to sell the domain. If it failed to sell and her personal situation changes, we could perhaps develop a web site at a later time. I also thanked her for sending the bikini photo, ending with the inevitable remark, "You are just like Bianca."

Once I had burst her bubble, the mood of Claudia's reply was a stark contrast to her previous one. "Unauthorized use of pictures causes problems," she exclaimed. She was almost belligerent in insisting that I remove her name and all her pictures from the site. She explained, "Perhaps you do not know, but my life became a hell after my fiancé saw the VoltaBianca site with my pictures there." This was the first time she had used the Portuguese word that directly translates "fiancé" in describing this man who is with her. "You are going to recuperate your lost money and I am going to recuperate my peace," she declared, and wished me well with my endeavors.

Needless to say, after she dropped this little bomb of new information, I spent extra time crafting a thoughtful reply, realizing as well that it was likely to be the last message of our thread. In her earlier reply, Claudia had used Portuguese words that translate as "suffocate" and "smother" in describing this man's treatment of her. With that in mind, here is the English text of my final reply to Claudia - in its entirety:

[Claudia,]

I will try to remove as many pictures from the voltabianca site as I can. Obviously, I cannot totally erase nine critical months of the search's history. But I will do the best I can with the pictures and the documents that contain them.

It grieves me greatly to learn of the situation with your fiancé and how my search has affected your life and relationship with him. (In fact, I almost feel like crying... ) He's obviously a very insecure man. Perhaps he doesn't understand my English, or the electronic Portuguese translation, or the fact that it's all a coincidence. Perhaps the fact that you so closely resemble someone I grew to love so deeply fills him with jealousy and rage. One thing is for sure. He certainly does not trust you.

It may be none of my business, but be careful jumping into a marriage with this kind of man. In times past, less sophisticated women were actually charmed by this kind of behavior and considered it "proof" of his love. But most women now recognize the truth. It's not "charming." It's stifling, suffocating, and a potential precursor to domestic violence. It has no place in 21st Century relationships.

Over the past couple of days, my attitude toward selling the claudiabella.com domain had been softening. I figured that in another couple of months, my schedule would free up enough to begin working on it. I kept thinking about the various ideas I had for "official Claudia Bella merchandise" we could try to sell. A few are quite funny and one of my co-workers even had his own idea. But now that you have made your situation clear, it is indeed best that I try to sell the domain.

In the weeks and months ahead, if you get curious as to whether I successfully sold the domain, feel free to contact me. You are welcome to any time.

You are indeed a beautiful lady with a wonderful personality. You are also a terrific actress with a lot of talent. I want nothing but the best for you. I feel so sorry.

Take care.

Love,

Jeff

Since writing this message, I have thought some more about the pictures and I have decided I simply cannot remove all of them from the site. And I am certainly not going to scrub her name from it. Here is a woman who looks so much like Bianca, down to every detail and personality trait, that even I was fooled for nine months. The only image of Bianca we have is a drawing. Saving three or four of the best photos in a section devoted to the "Claudia Bella Chapter" of the search is hardly unreasonable. But of course, is this creep of a fiancé being the least bit reasonable? He appears to be as dumb as a post and his ability to comprehend any language is open to debate. If he has such a problem with the images of his fiancé on a site like mine, then obviously he is unaware of the following page which anyone can find by simply putting "Claudia Bella" into a search engine:

http://www.easypornstars.com/pornstar/claudia_bella_0.php

Pages such as these, as well as the clips linked to them, are routinely put up by fans and people in the industry and they do it for hundreds of performers all over the world. In fact, I have found at least ten other pages on the Internet devoted to Claudia Bella and her movies. I doubt either one of them is demanding these pages be taken down. Her fiancé probably doesn't even know they exist.

In the days that followed my final message to Claudia, the inevitable feelings of emptiness began to settle in. Not surprisingly, they were brought on by a number of factors. Nine months had been spent in an illusion. The circumstantial developments back in July were more difficult on my heart. But in the context of a belief that Claudia is Bianca, they were also a highly meaningful challenge and a test. Then, when the ability to communicate with Claudia finally occurred, I find that this woman - who cannot even be distinguished from Bianca - is now actually engaged, and the man to whom she is engaged is a jealous bully and a tyrant. Added to that, there is a language barrier that had to be overcome.

I also began to think about what I've seen in some Brazilians, and especially Brazilian women, along the course of this search. This is certainly not the first Brazilian woman I've heard of who settled for a man like this, whether that man is a fellow Brazilian, an American, or some other nationality. I was also reminded how so many Brazilians who emigrate to Massachusetts end up joining fundamentalist "cult" churches in the towns where they settle. When they do, they retreat completely from the world, their lives are stuffed into a box, and they are made to feel guilty over normal human pleasure. Fearful, idiotic, childish perceptions of reality get infused into their minds. It's a depressing thought, but it almost seems like a number of Brazilians are actually - subconsciously - looking for an oppressor. And when the "right" one comes along, be it a "lover" or some fundamentalist church, guys like me are left outside looking in. I find it puzzling because Brazilian society and mores seem so easy going and tolerant to us Americans.

So essentially, I am now back at the same place I was a year ago in this search with one notable difference. Back then, I was ready to drop everything and go on with life. But after all the experiences of these past nine months, I can not be satisfied by simply throwing in the towel. I do want to go on with my life. But not without setting up some free or low cost classified advertising in print and on line Brazilian publications, both locally and in Rio. I am also in the process of retooling the web site to document the past ten months and prepare it to be the destination of the ads.

At this point, I plan on sending another newsletter announcing the publications where the advertising has been arranged. After that, newsletters will likely be few and far between unless there is a significant development. Once my advertising scheme has been fully established, I plan to keep things running for up to a year if need be. If the ads are still running next year at this time, with no significant results, I will assess at that time whether I want to continue or not.

As always, thanks for your interest, particularly over the past ten months. Have a wonderful holiday season.

Jeff